Connie
October 2020 – Perfectionism
Perfectionism? How can I write about that when I’m not. A perfectionist, that is.
I don’t care if the corners on the folded towels don’t perfectly meet. I don’t care if there is a dirty glass left in the sink overnight. I don’t care if there is a lump in the bed after I make it. I don’t even care if the pillows aren’t exactly aligned perfectly. A few leaves in the carport doesn’t bother me. I’m not a perfectionist in any sense of the word.
But I’m not a slob. I care about my home, and love making it a pleasant place to live and be, and for family, friends, and neighbors (and enemies?) to visit.
I also care deeply about dark chocolate. Mmm mmm. It is so good for internal inflammation that I don’t feel a bit guilty for enjoying this perfect daily treat, a gift from a perfect God.
This morning I brewed my perfect fresh hot cup of vanilla coffee, laid out my rationed four small squares of perfect dark chocolate, grabbed my perfect Bible, went to my perfect comfortable recliner to read and pray, and to enjoy my perfect dark chocolate with my perfect hot coffee. What a perfect way to begin a perfect day with a perfect God.
Not wanting to wait another minute, I popped the first bite of perfect dark chocolate in my mouth, tasting the perfect bittersweetness and letting it melt slowly and smoothly, savoring every perfect bit on my taste buds. So smooth. So perfectly smooth as it began to melt down my throat. Now came the time for that perfect sip of hot vanilla coffee to encourage and blend with the melting bittersweet, smooth, perfect dark chocolate.
I raised the steaming cup to my lips, took a generous swallow…
And sneezed!
What a mess! All over me, my gown, my chair, my Bible, my coffee cup, even the floor.
Laughed or cried? I don’t know. I think it was a guffaw.
This imperfect mortal being ruined that perfect bite of perfect dark chocolate.
But didn’t Jesus say “Therefore be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect?” (Mt. 5:48 TLV)
How does that work? Can we be perfect? What’s the “therefore” there for? Does it have anything to do with dark chocolate?
Nope. It’s the consumer of dark chocolate Jesus is speaking to — imperfect citizens of the Kingdom of God. My imperfect mortal sneeze tarnished perfection, just as all of humankind tarnished and continues to tarnish God’s perfect creation.
When creation occurred in the perfect garden, perfect humankind was in harmony with perfect God, with perfect others, with perfect self, and with perfect nature. It was glorious, happy, peaceful, perfect. Harmony.
Then along came the serpent with an apple offering to help Adam and Eve be like God.
Even after God told Adam not to eat fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they both succumbed to temptation and — bam! — all of creation was tarnished. Disharmony — humankind is at disharmony with God, self, others, and nature.
Then because of God’s gracious love, along came Jesus. When our life is committed to Jesus, harmony is restored.
We are God’s work of art,
Created in Christ Jesus,
To live the good life as from the beginning
He intended us to live it.
Ephesians 2:10 (JBV)
God’s divine intention was that we would live in harmony with all creation. Harmony is restored in the Kingdom of God when we enter through the door only Jesus can open for us. His Kingdom is perfect.
The word perfect in Matthew 5:48 in its original language is teleios (Greek). Here is its meaning: brought to its end, finished, wanting nothing necessary to completeness, that which is perfect, consummate human integrity and virtue. Doesn’t that describe life in Christ.
When Jesus said, “Therefore be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect,” here’s what the “therefore” is there for.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Even the tax collectors do the same, don’t they? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than anyone else? Even the pagans do that, don’t they? Therefore, be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”
Matthew 5:43-48 (TLV)
A perfect folded towel or a lumpless bed, a well-swept carport, or a delicious square of dark chocolate is not perfection.
By Jesus’ words, we know God desires perfection in the way we live in harmony with others.
Especially by loving our enemies. Perfection is loving our enemies as God loves them — completely with integrity and virtue.
The Kingdom is being assaulted. Our knees should be calloused. Pray for our enemies. Love, love, love. Pray. Pray. Pray.
That is the perfection Jesus wants. Anything short of that is imperfection.
P.S. Trader Joe’s has the almost-perfect dark chocolate. It’s called the “Pound Plus” bar, and at a very reasonable price, it lasts over a month.
September 2020 – Change
Changing Families
I’ve changed diapers. Changed clothes. Changed homes. Changed states. Changed coasts. Changed cars. Changed jobs. Changed churches. I’ve even changed husbands (chuckle here, please). And I’ve endured the mid-life change. We all have lived through change — small and large.
So why are so many living in so much despair about the current change that the pandemic has brought?
It’s because this change is all encompassing. It affects every part of everyone’s life. We hear the phrase “new normal” and feel fear: Fear that life will never be normal again, fear that we will succumb to the pandemic virus, fear that loved ones will be affected, fear that our income will vanish, and fear that the society we’ve enjoyed all our lives will change forever.
Fifty-something years ago I changed families. I was not prepared for the life-change it would bring, but it certainly prepared me for the life-change of today. Today’s changing culture actually seems trivial in comparison.
I changed from the family of Adam (natural man) to the Family of Jesus. My spirit united with God’s has even changed my geography. I have been crucified with Christ and I have been born again into the Kingdom of God. I’ve died to sin and death (Adam’s Family) and have been born again into life with Christ. Living in my Father and He in me erases fear. Perfect love casts out fear. Whatever comes around can be handled with His help. (Romans 5-6-7).
Because of this mighty family change, I want to leave you one word:
Chazak!
It’s a Hebrew word and the Ch is pronounced like your clearing a piece of popcorn from your throat. It means “be strong.” It is often used as a rallying cry: Chazak! Chazak! V’nit Chazak!
— Be strong! Be strong! And be strengthened!
Chazak! Be courageous!
Do not tremble…
For Adonai your God —
He is the one who goes with you.
He will not fail you or abandon you.
–Deuteronomy 31:6
…Chazak! Be strong.
Do not be terrified or dismayed.
For Adonai your God is with you
Wherever you go.
–Joshua 1:9
Chazak! Let your heart take courage,
All you who wait for Adonai.
— Psalm 31:25
“Let your heart take courage.” Take if from Adonai Who offers it freely. We don’t conjure up courage on our own. It is not because of our own strength. Just as chazak comes from Jesus within us, so does courage. He gives both to us abundantly. It is His resurrection power. And it is right at our finger tips.
So, don’t think change. Think Chazak!
Chazak!
God loves you and so do I!
Connie
August 2020 – Because You Said So, I Will…
Tooting Joy
The topic for this month’s blog is about a time we said to God, “Because You Said So, I Will.” We are also to tell how it turned out. I’m hesitant because it’s always been difficult to toot my own horn. I honestly aim at humility in my Jesus Journey, and even saying so sounds like a toot. However, there are times I heard Him right and responded — all turning out well.
For a lot of my septuagenarian life I’ve been impetuous like Peter, who always wanted to do something to please Jesus, but frequently was a wee bit off base. I, too, wanted to please Jesus, so perhaps my motivation, although impetuous, was right, but often my Lord had to pick up the
pieces. I’ll save those stories for a later time.
In my twenties, as a new follower of Christ, I fervently prayed Isaiah’s prayer, “Here I am. Send me.” And I got sent. Joy always accompanies serving God and being in His Will and I will toot about that. But I’m going to choose a time from my seventies to toot about because that’s my
assignment and my age.
My story is recent — just in the last few months. My daughter told me of her neighbor who just lost her husband and asked that I befriend her and
help her through her grief. I have been through the worst part of grief having lost my husband a couple of years ago, so the call of God “clicked” in my heart and I called my daughter’s neighbor.
Covid slowed our growing friendship, but long story short, we have become fast friends. We play MahJongg, are in Bible Study, and do fun things like dinner out. Just knowing her has helped me with the tender parts of grief I still experience, and I believe I am helping her. Being together makes the difference because we are sharing Jesus. That’s all it takes for healing–being in Jesus Presence. It has brought much joy and I will toot about joy again.
Another quick story to toot about regarding “Because You said so, I will.” When I married my late husband I lived in California and he lived in Arizona. Our plan was to sell his home and settle in California. I quit my job at his request and moved to his home to wait for his home to sell. After I was in Arizona for a few weeks, I realized how content he was living here. He had good friends, a good church, and a lovely home in lovely Arizona.I didn’t have the heart to tear him away from his happiness at his age, so at God’s nudging I suggested we stay in Arizona. He was ecstatic. So was I. God was right. It turned out wonderfully with more blessings than I can count.
Three years later, my daughter and husband and four children moved to Arizona. They started a successful heating and air conditioning business. Their children grew up here, are married with children, and enjoy successful careers. They all love the Lord, and I get to watch my great-grandchildren grow up. What a joy (toot)!
But more than that, I served my Lord in ways I’d never expected. I accepted a job at a church and was able to help hold it together during a major attempt by some to destroy it. I still lead a Bible study I started over sixteen years ago, and taught several other short term ones. Trained in laughter yoga, I helped people in nursing homes for several years experience better health and Joy in Jesus. It is always a sheer joy to serve others.
And now widowed, I am happily content in a lovely condo my family provided. What a blessing it is to respond to God’s voice. (More joy.)
For fifty-something years of following Jesus, my permanent prayer is “Send me.” It will always be my best prayer.
Please tell me of a time you experienced joy as you responded to God’s voice.
July 2020 – Freedom!
Me and Bobby McGee
Several decades ago,
as a single mother with two precious little cherubs to call my own, I enjoyed the rhythm and melody of Janis Joplin’s very popular Me and Bobby McGee. As I drove my little yellow Pinto I would belt out the words in the key of off slapping rhythm on my knee.
Then one day — I know it was from the Lord — I really heard the words:
Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose
Nothin’, don’t mean nothin’ hon’ if it ain’t free, no no
And, feelin’ good was easy, Lord, when Bobby sang the blues
You know, feelin’ good was good enough for me
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee
Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose….
“No!” I thought. “That’s not right. That’s not freedom!”
I had just been through divorce and had lost everything except two suitcases and my two precious children. What I had lost did not give me freedom, it gave me a heavy emotional shock weighing me down, a heavy burden I dragged around. What I had left gave me freedom —
freedom to completely and fully love — I would fight to the death for my Sugar-booger and my Wood-looking-goody (their names are Stacy and Woody).
We lived in Southern California at the time and I was mandated by the court to send them by themselves to see their father in New Orleans for a summer. As I think about it now, almost fifty years later, I can still feel the painful dread and fear as I put them on the plane. It was the most
horrible feeling I have ever felt and I can only imagine what the tender young hearts of Stacy and Woody must have felt. I’m sure it was painful for them as well. My friend said, “Gee, Connie, just think. You’re free for the summer.” No! Now everything was gone and it sure didn’t feel like freedom to me. Freedom is not, hear me clearly, freedom is not nothing left to lose. Nothing left to lose is a burden.
Nothin’ don’t mean nothin’ hon’ if it ain’t free.
Many a military man will tell you freedom isn’t free. And so will Jesus. The freedom He gives us to live our life as intended–in the Kingdom of
God–cost Him torture, condemnation, and crucifixion. Our freedom is not free.
And, feelin’ good was easy, Lord, when Bobby sang the blues, You know, feelin’ good was good enough for me….
Wrong again. Feeling good is not enough. It falls far short and leaves an emptiness in our soul. Jesus’ words nail it far better than Bobby McGee.
“I am the gate; if someone enters by me,
He will go in and out and find pasture.”
–John 10:9
“I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly.”
–John 10:10
“This is why the Father loves me:
Because I lay down my life —
In order to take it up again.
No one takes it away from me.
On the contrary,
I lay it down of my own free will.”
–John 10:17-18
Bottom line: Jesus freely laid down His life so we could freely go and freely come, so that we may find pasture — have all our needs met. When we let Him, Jesus lives His life in us so that we are free from the law, sin and condemnation.
Much more than feelin’ good being good enough, He came that we would have life and life abundantly. For me, that is the freedom to fully love my children, grandchildren, and great grands. It’s the freedom to love my friends. And to freely love down and outers. It’s the freedom
from being emotionally weighted down. It’s the freedom of purpose — to find my purpose and live it out joyfully. It’s the freedom of peace, authentic inner peace in Jesus, even in turmoil. It’s the freedom to not to question God, but to simply trust Him. It’s the freedom of contentment in
my older years. And much more.
What is abundant life — freedom –to you?
June 2020 – What would I Tell My Younger Self?
What Would I Tell Myself Ten Years Ago?
I asked a few friends my age how they would answer this question. Their honest answers were inspiring.
One precious friend said she would be more disciplined in what she ate and would walk more for exercise. I’m sure we can all relate.
Another lovely friend said she would tell herself not to fear retirement because God always provides. That is wisdom at its finest for those of us who are forced to retire.
One that knocks my socks off came from a neighbor who calls herself a cradle Catholic. She wanted to go back thirty years instead of ten. She hesitantly said “I would give myself permission to divorce my husband.” That is honesty right to the heart, and mine broke for her. She had lived unhappily for many years. Now a widow for twenty years, she is quite content and at peace with her Lord. And, everyone has so much fun when we are with her.
Yet another dear friend said she would tell herself to be more grateful. Amen to that.
Being a bit eccentric perhaps, my initial response when I heard the question was to tell my ten-year-younger self to be grateful for gratitude. I certainly do not have wealth or riches as commonly thought of, but I do have the heavenly gift written in the scripture below. So, I’m sticking with the initial thought because a few days ago in my study, I ran across an ancient Hebrew word that explains my thought and is found in the following:
“Every man and woman to whom God has given riches and wealth and has given power to eat thereof and to take his or her portion and to rejoice in his labor, this is the gift of God.
Ecclesiates 5:19
The original word for rejoice in this passage is shalat. It means empowered to enjoy. In other words, rejoicing is God’s gift to us. If He empowers us to rejoice in our labor, then He clearly empowers us to rejoice in our gratitude.
When I lost my husband two years ago, Jesus used my daughter and her husband, my grandson and his wife to fill the gap. As I walk through my home enjoying what they have provided for me, I thank God continually. The more I thank Him, the more content I am. The more I thank Him, the happier I am. The more I thank Him, the more I love Him. The more I thank Him, the deeper my love grows for my family. The more I thank Him the more I rejoice. I can honestly say this is the best time of my life.
He empowers me to live joyfully. He empowers me to enjoy, to rejoice, in gratitude. I am grateful for gratitude.
May 2020 – Isolation
Splendid Isolation
Knowing it would be my first day out in seven weeks, and because I needed a haircut when I went into isolation and I need it even more now, and because I look like death warmed over as the saying goes, I dressed in my best color to help my appearance a bit. I picked up my pink striped mask and as I donned it I was horrified! It clashed terribly with my bright coral blouse.
So, I changed to a pastel blue because I have earrings with both pink and blue colors. Vanity, O vanity, says the preacher in OT Ecclesiastes.
I laughed at myself as my Wholetones music played softly in the background. Wholetones is beautiful music written by Michael Tyrell in ancient biblical healing frequencies. I have it on 24/7. It has helped me be at ease during lung cancer, through the grief of losing my husband, and has now brought contentment, even joy, in isolation. As a matter of fact, I cannot take credit for the title of this piece. Splendid isolation is how Michael described it in one of his videos.
Isolation has been splendid, although not always happy. I have had mostly joyfully splendid days, but I have also had some lonely, down times. Remembering what a dear pastor friend said to me fifty-something years ago, “It is in the valley where the tall grass grows,” I asked God to help this old wilted seventy-something grass to grow. I opened my Bible and discovered another profound teaching by the Ecclesiastes preacher who most scholars believe is Solomon.
“Watch your feet when you go to the House of God. Draw near to listen, rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing wrong.”
Ecclesiastes 4:17 (TLV).
“Watch your feet means”watch where you are going.” Be aware it is the House of God and approach it with respect — knowing He is the sovereign host — and desiring to know (experience) Him. (The house of God is where we meet Jesus in our inner being.)
The following verse, Ecclesiastes 5:1 reads:
“Do not be quick with your mouth nor hasty in your heart to utter a word in God’s presence. For God is in heaven, and you are on the earth — therefore, let your words be few.”
Let my words be few? Not so easy. But well worth practicing. That means if I can’t speak I have to listen, right? So I’ve learned to sit and say nothing as I wait for Him. I wait, patiently wait, for Him to have the first word and He always speaks first. Frank Laubach, a missionary in the Philippines wrote over sixty years ago, “God is speaking all the time, all the time, all the time.” My part is not to be quick with my mouth or hasty in my heart but to be quiet and listen. And be patient to experience Him.
Even at seventy-something, isolation has been splendid, pointing out what really matters in this life. It’s not hairstyles, blouses or earrings, or any other earthly thing. It is truly knowing and experiencing Him.
(If you are interested in being “beamed up to the throne of grace” go to wholetones.com. Also, read Michael’s book, “The Sound of Healing: Unveiling the Phenomena of Wholetones.”)
Lent – 2020
I couldn’t decide whether to title this article Forty and Red Grapes or Red Grapes and Forty. I opted for the latter because I was munching red grapes when the two came together in my mind.
When social distancing became imperative while we are in the season of Lent, I began wondering what God was up to. Probably because of Lent being forty days the number attached itself to my frontal lobe for me to ponder. Forty is mentioned 146 times throughout the Old and New Testament. Here is a brief overview:
God flooded the earth for forty days and forty nights
Abraham tried to bargain with God not to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah if forty righteous people were found.
Both Esau and Jacob were forty years old when they were married
Twice Moses was on Mt. Sinai forty days receiving God’s law
The Israelites wandered for forty years in the desert
Prominent Old Testament Judges Othniel, Deborah, Barak, Eli and Gideon served for forty years
Kings Saul, David, and Solomon reigned for forty years
Elijah went forty days without food or water
Jesus, tempted by the adversary, fasted forty days and nights before beginning His ministry
Jesus appeared to His disciples and friends for forty days after His resurrection
Jesus, a few days before His crucifixion, prophesied the total destruction of Jerusalem. Forty years later it happened
Each one of these Biblical events played a significant part in Israel’s formative history beginning in its infancy stages with Abraham (Gen. 12:1-3) to their fulfillment in Jesus. Each event was followed by a blessing.
A Hebrew word study of the meaning of forty reveals that it symbolizes a long period of testing, trial or probation — not always exactly forty days. Kind of a downer, but wait! There is more!
Hillel ben David, Greg Killian, writes “Every time one finds the number forty in Torah, its inner meaning is the ascent from one level to the next higher one. We get a new mission at forty. But the attainment of a higher level can come only after first reaching and fulfilling all aspects of the previous level, and then making an emptiness in the middle to allow for the emergence of something entirely new.” Perhaps this time of social distancing is the emptiness in the middle.
Living the sacred season of forty days called Lent in careful social distancing can be a lonely experience. That’s where I was the first week or two, but I did a paradigm switch. You can, too. Let’s think and pray about ascending in our individual spiritual growth — our transformation into Christlikeness. Let’s use our time to draw close to Jesus and ask to know Him better — ask Him to reveal Himself to us in a new and personal way. Let’s ask for our personal “ascending” experience. We will be so much happier now as well as on the other side of this virus crisis.
So, what about red grapes? Red grapes, even more than chocolate, are my favorite snack. I was snacking on red grapes – a nice surprise from my daughter – while pondering why forty was swimming through my mind . Now this may seem far fetched, but it occurred to me that red grapes are the beginning of new wine. Jesus said we can’t put new wine in old wineskins. We are His new wineskins. He is the new wine, the new covenant, we celebrate on Easter Sunday. Death, resurrection, ascension. See the higher levels?
Our Lenten isolation this year is the red grapes, the beginning of our ascension to a new higher level in Him. Perhaps He will give us a new mission. He will surprise you with something new and wonderful.
Here I am, doing a new thing;
Now it is springing up —
Do you not know about it?
I will surely make a way in the desert
Rivers in the wasteland.
–Isaiah 43:19 (TLV)
April 2020 – Hope
“Hey Bud, how ya’ doin’?” was the usual greeting my husband received as he arrived at the softball field in our retirement community. Softball was his favorite pastime.
His usual response: “Still buying green bananas.” It always made me chuckle. Of course, he meant he felt great and would be around after the bananas were ripe.
I thought about this when my daughter, showed up at my door with bags of groceries, including — yes, green bananas. You see, I’m on my eleventh day of lockdown because of the corona virus as I write this — four days ahead of the rest of the country. As a widow in my 70’s, living alone with diabetes and compromised lungs, I am, much to my dismay, what is now called high risk. My daughter, in her wisdom, persuaded me to isolate early on. I took her advice and she brings me the things I need.
I’ll get back to green bananas in a minute but first I want to lament. I’ve jokingly told friends by way of social media, including the old fashioned phone, that I’m climbing the walls. However, there is always a certain amount of truth behind every jest. I’ve read more books than I can count and am sick and tired of TV. I am fidgety, a bit lonely, a bit fearful, and am concerned about how long I will be in solitary confinement. With the virus showing up in my city, it is prudent not to have visitors. Frankly, I long for fellowship.
According to the government’s strategy I have at least eight more days of this. That might be considered light at the end of the tunnel, but to me it is enduring more of what I’ve already served. Poor me, poor me.
You’ve heard my lament. So has God. He reminded me of one of my favorite scripture passages. In fact, my all-time favorite hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness is based on it.
So I said, “My endurance has perished, and my hope in Adonai….When I remember my affliction, my soul is downcast within me. This I recall to my heart –Therefore I have hope: Because of the mercies of Adonai We will not be consumed, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning! Great is your faithfulness. “Adonai is my portion,” says my soul,“Therefore I will hope in Him.”Adonai is good to those who wait for Him, To the soul that seeks Him. It is is good to wait quietly For the salvation of Adonai. … Let him sit alone and be silent, Since He has laid it upon him.
–Lamentations 3:18-28 TLV
Meditating on this passage, in a very profound way that goes deeper than I’ve experienced before, I am immersed in His Hope. Oh the warmth of His shekinah glory! Because God has “laid it (lock down) upon me” I “sit alone and be silent.” He promised. He delivered. This hope in the form of His presence is one of the richest blessings I’ve received from Him. How grateful, how thankful I am. I adore Him even more.
He came to me in my silence and brought me hope. Robert Schuller of Hour of Power/Crystal Cathedral fame taught us that HOPE is Holding On Praying Expectantly. Yes, it is!
Now, back to green bananas. As I thought about it I realized God was speaking. When I saw Stacy’s gift of little green bananas lying on the counter, I was immediately reminded of my late husband — a memory of warmth and humor.
Here’s what I heard form Adonai:
1: Keep a good sense of humor in crisis.
2: Greenbananas: Green, the common color for new life, reminds me that Adonai’s love is new every morning. Seek it passionately.
3: Bananas: God’s provision of food reminds me of the Manna we read about in Moses’ wilderness wanderings. He provides us with what we need when we need it. The Israelites gathered God’s love new every morning — yes, Manna. Trust Him. He provides.
Hebrews 4:12 tells us, “The word of God is alive and active.” It is alive and active for me and provides comfort. I pray it to be alive and active for you.
“For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him.” –Psalm 62:5 RSV