Kenzie -

September 2020 – Change

Change Kinda Sucks.

I’m not going to be the one to sugar coat it for you, change kinda sucks. Being a senior in high school, I’ve been preparing for the massive changes I’m going to be going through in the near future. And frankly, it really scares me. I’ve never been someone that handles change well. My transition from middle to high school was terrifying. I had no idea what to expect. And now the thought of transitioning from high school to college, moving out, being on my own? It’s overwhelming to say the least.

My mom will now be a 2 hour drive away, not a 2 second walk. My friends and I will be graduating, we’ll be adults, not the kids that we used to be. I’m growing up. I’m going to be on my own. So yeah, change kinda sucks.

But at the same time, change is so so so important. With every difficult transition I’ve dealt with in my life, I’ve always come out of it stronger. Despite my reservations coming into high school, I was able to grow into myself and figure out who I am. Despite my reservations with joining band my freshman year, I met the most amazing friends a person could ask for. I’ve never once looked back on a time of big changes in my life and thought, ‘ugh, that so wasn’t worth it’. Not once! I always look back fondly and am grateful for how far I’ve come since that point.

I think what I’m getting at here is that hey, I understand that change sucks, but the outcome is what you have to hold out for. I’m sure the transition from high school to college is probably going to suck. I’m sure I’m going to get homesick, and I’m sure I’m going to feel overwhelmed at first. But I’m also sure that once I’ve gotten through the thick of it, it’s going to be so so worth it, and that’s what I’m looking forward to. I’m excited. Incredibly nervous? Absolutely. But it’ll be worth it, just like it always is.

Makenzie <3

July 2020 – Freedom!

Self Expression

For many,

when they hear the word freedom they think of one thing: the United States. And while I agree that we’re blessed with many freedoms in this country, I wanted to talk about a freedom that I feel that I often overlook. My freedom of self expression is something that I find myself constantly taking advantage of, so I’m writing this for myself as a reminder to appreciate it more often.

I am a pretty quiet and introverted person. I don’t like public speaking, and I really struggle with meeting new people. I have trouble stepping out of my comfort zone which can be frustrating sometimes. Because I find myself not expressing myself vocally a lot, I’ve found value in using my appearance as a means of self expression instead; more specifically, my hair.

Recently I was able to convince my mom to let me dye my hair pink (and trust me, it took a while to convince her). But eventually she let me and while it may sound silly to some people, it felt so liberating! At first I was perplexed as to why my hair made me feel the way it had. I was forced to do some self reflection.

Now I’m only 17, and going to school with other students my age I’m constantly surrounded by tons of different personalities. And truth be told I was always jealous of those who were loud, and cracked jokes, and were able to make friends with everyone in the class, I wanted to be like that. But at the same time, I was scared to put myself out there in such a way. Dyeing my hair gave me an outlet to express myself in such a loud way without me actually having to say anything. I felt like I was able to show off my personality even if I was too shy to say something myself. Ultimately, having bright pink hair made me feel really confident, which was something I always struggled with growing up.

Being a teenager in a time where social media is shoving pictures of models and actresses in your face 24/7, it can be really difficult to feel beautiful in your own skin. I’ve found an outlet to express myself that I’m so excited to explore more, and I want you to do the same. So yes, go dye your hair that crazy color, go wear those cute heels even if you think you’re too tall for them, put on that bright lipstick even if you think it’s too much.

We have the amazing gift of being able to express ourselves freely, so don’t deprive yourself of that freedom, indulge in it.

A Prayer for Graduating Seniors

April 2020 – Hope

With everything going on in the world right now I have a feeling that I, as well as many others, are feeling immense uncertainty. When I first sat down and tried to write out my thoughts I struggled. And hard. I didn’t know quite how to articulate what I was feeling or how I could give anyone a sense of hope. And after talking to my wonderful Aunt Stacy, I realize that’s not my job. My job here isn’t to provide hope or a sense of security, as much as I wish I could, my job here is to be honest and transparent.

And to be honest? I’m scared. I’ve always gone through life thinking I was invincible and that I’d never have to go through something that difficult. But recently, I was involved in a car accident. It was pretty minor, I came out okay and nothing horrible happened, but it was scary. And it made me realize how very not invincible I am.

So fast foward to now, as I’m watching the whole world go into lockdown, I’m scared. I was supposed to return to school from spring break on Monday, but I didn’t. I was excited about getting to see my friends again, but I haven’t.

So now I ask myself, where do I go from here? Within the next few days I’ll have plenty to do. I start online school on Monday so I’ll be plenty busy with that I suppose. I only have one year left of highschool so I can keep myself busy researching different universities and working on scholarships or applications. But I think what I need to remind myself of most is that I need to have faith. I often get bogged down by overwhelming thoughts of the ‘what ifs’. But I need to focus on the ‘what is’. And what I know is true is that we will get through this, and this heaviness we’re feeling will pass. And before we know it all will be back to normal, and we’ll all be back to complaining about our normal lives just as we were a few weeks ago.

But until then, we can stick together and look out for one another. Check in on friends and family that maybe you haven’t seen in a couple weeks. Check in on yourself too, that’s just as important. Know that this will soon pass. Know that we are strong. And know that we are not alone, He is watching over us.