Stacy

September 2020 – Change

Chaaaaaange, Ugh!

Times, they are a changin’…

In the last few months we have seen nothing but change. The things that we once thought to be true no longer are. It’s been frustrating and overwhelming to navigate this ‘new normal.’

In the past, I haven’t been so great at handling change. As a young child, I would get sick the night before the start of a new school year. I had the last year figured out and now I had to learn a whole new set of rules with a new teacher and new friends. I didn’t have the tools to be able to handle change.

But, as I’ve got just a little older, I’ve learned that change is inevitable. It’s going to happen no matter how hard I try to stop it so I just better get on board and ride it out. The more I fight change, the harder it is. Saying this, I have to admit that I don’t always do this whole ‘get on board thing’ well. I’m better at fighting it. But, the truth still stands.

Here’s some of the things I’ve learned which have helped me navigate changing times:

• Don’t make big decisions. Take things in bite-sized portions.

When a major life change occurs, I do not think clearly. I have to make small decisions, one at a time or I will make a decision I will regret. I also want to be proactive and ‘help’ God with the change. I will jump and do something before it’s time. Waiting is hard, but necessary.

• Be in the present.

I can’t start over-thinking the ‘what ifs.’ Usually those ‘what ifs’ never happen anyway and I’ve wasted a lot of time and energy worrying about them. I could have used that time to be productive.

• Think about a change that occurred in the past and how God got through me it.

I have made it through 100% of the changes which have occurred in my life: good and bad.

One time, with three little kids clinging to my ankles, I was fretting about my grandmother locking her keys in the car. How could she do this? What were we going to do? How would we get home? I couldn’t walk that far with three babies. My grandmother wasn’t the littlest bit worried. She said something which has stuck with me,“Stacy, it won’t be like this tomorrow.” She had such simple, yet wise advice. She was right. It wasn’t like that the next day. It wasn’t even like that an hour later.

• I tell myself a story. It won’t be like this when…

I’m not avoiding the issue with this one. I’m reminding myself that good times are ahead. It won’t be like this forever. It helps to bring me out of a funk. It can also work in the reverse. It helps me to remember when good changes are happening to enjoy the moment and hold on to it. King Solomon asked his sages to come up with something that would help keep grounded in the good times and the bad. They brought him a ring that said, “This too shall pass.” And, it will.

• Acknowledge not everything is changing.

I can be so dramatic. The whooole world is changing around me.” Let’s be real, it’s not. Not everything is changing. I look around and see what remains the same. My husband loves me. My dog loves me. My grand kids love me. I still have a house. I list whatever I can think of to remind myself that it’s not alllll changing. Get a grip, woman!

• Acceptance

The sooner I can accept the change is taking place, the sooner I will get through it. The more I fight it, the longer it takes. Some changes are definitely harder to accept. Some of them I fight kicking and screaming like a toddler. It’s an ugly process of learning to die to myself and ‘get on board’ with what God is doing. Dying to oneself sure isn’t pretty. It stinks to high heaven. But, I think it’s the aroma that is most pleasing to God.

Change is hard. But, it can also be good. We will learn from this ‘new normal.’ Hopefully, we will become a better people and a better country because of it. That’s my prayer, anyway. Lord, take what is not meant for good and turn it into something beautiful for Your glory.

Our steadfast, rock-solid, unchanging God loves to see change in His people.

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August 2020 – Because You Said So, I will…

Critical people suck.

They can hurt us, make rude comments, judge our decisions, talk about what we’re doing wrong, and rarely have anything nice to say. One way to deal with them is to stop being around them. But, this is hard to do when the critical person is you. (Me. I said that)

Sometimes the most powerful voice that we believe is the critical voice inside our own heads. And we can’t get away from us.

“I cant.”

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’m not smart enough.”

“I’m not pretty enough.”

“I’m not thin enough.”

“I’m too much for people.”

“My personality is too strong.”

“I’m too shy.”

“I will never amount to anything.”

“God can never love someone like me.”

“Who do I think that I am?”

“I am a failure.”

“These are just some of the lies that like to run around free in our minds because we allow our brains to become cantankerous playgrounds for self-defeating aphorisms.” (I said that one too.)

The lies could have come from our childhood. An adult may have said that you will never amount to anything and we believe it. They’re an adult. They know best, right?

Your father may have told you in the sixth grade that the dress you were wearing made you look pregnant. Yep, that happened.

The lies can be our way of sounding humble. “Oh, she is so much (fill in the blank) than I. Let her do it. It’s ok. She will do it better than me anyway.”

Maybe someone tried to put you in your place because your personality scared theirs.

You may have compared yourself to the pretty, smart, thin girl with gorgeous hair in high school that got all of the guys and went to an Ivy League university, became a lawyer, married a rich, handsome man and you’re over here just trying to live your best life in an over-sized T-shirt, covered in baby spit up, with your hair up in a messy bun, just hoping that you will be able to take a shower and maybe put on a bra today.

Maybe you find yourself defining who you are by your past mistakes. We love to beat ourselves up and give ourselves a life sentence of misery because of something we have done a looong time ago.

Whatever the cause of the lies that we believe, the enemy of our souls would love to make us think that we are not enough and keep us handcuffed to him.

And then there’s God.

God has proven himself over and over to be faithful and loving. He has never turned his back on us and never let us down. E.V.E.R!

He has shown that he loves us exactly the way we are, AND loves us too much to let us stay that way. Why do we believe the critical, self-damnation over his truth? Probably because if we actually believed God’s truth we would be responsible to act on it. And that’s scary. He might want us to step out of our comfort zone. Yikes!

Because you said so, I will believe who you say that I am.

Because you love me, and gave your life for me, you deserve to be believed. You deserve to be believed, God.

YOU DESERVE TO BE BELIEVED!

Because you said so, I will believe:

I am loved:

This is real love-not that we loved God but He love us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. (1 John 4:10)

I am enough:

But, by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. (1 Corinthians 15:10)

I am beautiful:

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

I am free from condemnation:

So now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

I am never alone:

God is in the midst of her; she shall not me moved; God will help her when morning dawns. (Psalm 46:5)

I have value:

She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. (Proverbs 3:15)

I am made in the image of God:

Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy.

I am who you say that I am:

chosen, adopted, blessed, holy, blameless, loved, daughter, redeemed, forgiven, have purpose, united and included with Christ, predestined, sealed, have inheritance, have a spirit of wisdom, enlightened, have calling, have mighty power and strength. (Ephesians 1)

“Now with the voice of truth and power of God—armed on the right and armed on the left with righteousness from God—we continue. (2 Corinthians 6:7)

Because You Said So, I will…believe that I am who you say that I am.

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July 2020 – Freedom!

Freedom, Is It Safe?

“Aslan is a lion–the Lion, the great Lion.” “Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he–quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”…”Safe?” said Mr Beaver …”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good.”

C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Is he safe? No, but he is good.

The first time I read these words as a child, they leapt off of the page and resounded in my being. They became somewhat of an unofficial motto that I have chosen to live by. It’s right up there with “How hard can it be?” My friends won’t even let me finish that sentence anymore. They know what will be coming next–-something very, very hard.

I am a bit of a rule breaker. If there is a sign marking a trail that I’m supposed to stay on, I see that as a mere suggestion and forge my own. “Nothing was ever discovered by staying on the path.” I asserted, as I grabbed my reluctant niece’s hand and tromped off into the desert. (I may have got a text from her mother the next time I took her hiking, asking if we could please stay on the path.)

I could have been an explorer–-except in cold climates. I’m daring, not stupid. I’m more of a warm weather, beach explorer. More than once, my husband has had to reel me in. The echoes of his warnings still ring in my ears: “No, Stacy, you can’t do that. No, don’t taste that! There might be parasites. Get off of the lava!! Don’t swim after the sharks! Moray eels don’t like you all up in their face. You went where? By yourself? Are you crazy?” Such a fun sucker.

This dare-to-be-me personality of mine has come at the cost of other people’s judgments. When I became a pastor, I was called ‘sinful,’ ‘uppity,’ had a ‘bee in my bonnet,’ and ‘a woman with an agenda to take over.’ That’s a lot of names for someone that just wanted to love God’s people. As the only female to play and coach in a baseball league, I was labeled with words that would today be considered homophobic and sexist. And when I stand up for a cause that I believe righteous, I learn a whole new set of words to describe what others think of me. (I recently had to Google one of the words I was called because I didn’t know what it meant.)

In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Ephesians 3:12

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

John 8:36

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:1

I guess that I just take these verses to heart. The Bible says that I am free. ’Nuf said. I have freedom in Christ to be all that he has created me to be. I believe it. I try to live it. But, it hasn’t been safe. Quite the opposite. Freedom isn’t safe. It can be messy. It costs us something. It cost Christ everything to give us our freedom. He definitely didn’t live life of safety. The Bible isn’t a even a safe book. The characters we read about were never asked to sit around and be safe. They instead, were called to be risk takers for the cause of Christ. Getting crucified upside down doesn’t sound very safe to me.

If you think about it, a safe life isn’t a free life. We’re bound to be held captive by something or someone—maybe even our own fearful desires for safety.

When we are doing what we believe God has called us to do and be, it isn’t always easy. People will judge us. Maybe because they like people in nice little boxes that they can understand and aren’t comfortable with someone that dares to be and think just a little differently. They will make their opinions known. It can hurt. But, God is much more concerned with our character than our comfort. It is scary to step out into the great unknown of his calling. Nope, it might not be safe out there, but it is good because God is good. His ways are good. His plans for us are always good.

“I prefer a dangerous freedom over a peaceful slavery.”

Thomas Jefferson

Amen! Me too! I am free to be me. I have been set free from religious laws, opinions, judgments of others, and the lies of the enemy because of the very unsafe thing Christ did for me on the cross.

Is He safe? No, but He is good!

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June 2020 – What Would I Tell My Younger Self?

“The man who views the world at 50

the same way he did at 20

has wasted 30 years of his life.”

– Muhammad Ali

Looking back on my 52 years of life,

(haha!, oops, I’m 53), I am amazed at how far I have come: from a sad, broken little girl to a strong, happy woman. How did that happen? I was just in high school last year, playing baseball and hanging out at the beach with my friends–at least that’s what it feels like. Where has all of the time gone? Just yesterday, I was up to my ears in dirty diapers, baby formula, and potty training. Now my babies are having their babies.

I’m not old! I’m not old! I’m not!

I have many tidbits of brilliant learned wisdom that I would love to go back and tell my younger self. But, I probably wouldn’t have listened to it. What do I know anyway?

Thinking about it, all of my pieces of advice boil down to two words:

RESPECT YOURSELF!

You can stop reading there. That’s it. Respect yourself covers it. But, if you’re still interested, this is what I would say to me as a younger version of myself.

Teen:

Sweet girl, you are concerned about so many things: who to date, how to make someone like you, how far you should “go” with someone, should you go on ANOTHER diet, should you be drinking, what to do after high school or college, and a multitude of other questions.

Ask yourself: How would I answer these questions if I respected myself and want others to respect me too? You’re not going to always get it right. That’s ok. You don’t have to. Just try again. You teach people how to treat you. Learn to respect yourself now, so you can teach others to respect you.

20’s:

You are not going to be the same person at 30 that you were at 20. Thank. You. God! It sure can be a rough go getting there, though.

This is the decade of trying to figure out who YOU are and what YOU like and want out of life. You will want others to like you and you’ll find ways to please them. You worry so much if people are mad at you for something you’ve done or not done. STOP IT! You can’t make everyone like you. Don’t waste your time. People are too busy worrying about themselves to be concerned about what you’re doing. Heck! You don’t even like everyone, do you?

It’s your life, between you and God. Just do you.

When trying to decide who you are, who to marry, or not marry, who to be friends with, what to believe about your faith, constantly ask yourself: Does this show that I respect myself? Easy question to ask. Hard one to answer. Don’t worry, you will have a lot of practice this decade to get it right. Oh, God love ya! The 20’s can be so hard.

Be gentle on yourself.

30’s:

So, you think you know who you want to be? Awesome!

This decade you will try it on for size. If you don’t like something, it’s ok. No harm. You don’t know until you know. But, try it all: the PTA, new adventures, crafting, homeschooling the kids, and new hair styles. But, please don’t cut the bangs. Trust me, bangs don’t look good on you. Please respect yourself and, DON’T DO BANGS!!

You’ll do the bangs. It’s ok…they grow.

Now, that you are trying everything out, you will find the most important word you will learn this decade is “NO”. This word will go a long way to respecting yourself. It’s ok to say: “No, I can’t volunteer. No, I don’t want my children to do that. And no, I don’t believe that anymore.”

“No” is a full sentence. You don’t need to offer an explanation with it.

Sometimes, people will want you to do more than you can or should. Respect yourself and say, “NO!” Breeeeath…it’s ok to say no. It’s really ok. And, for goodness sake, don’t apologize for saying it!

40’s:

Woo Hoo! You’ve hit the 40’s. Looks like you’ve finally got things together. Good for you! Enjoy it. Because, right about now, life chuckles and says, “So, you think you’ve been through some pretty hard stuff? Hold my drink and watch this!”

Some big life changes may start to happen. Your kids will become teenagers. (I’m so, so sorry.) Parents get older. You may have to care for both the kids and the parents at the same time. Job losses. Divorces. Financial problems. Sicknesses. Diseases. Prodigal children. Friends betraying your trust. Even the deaths of loved ones. Just STRESSS! (Start taking collagen now because your hair doesn’t like stress either and you will be watching your youth wash down the drain with every strand.)

This is when you use every bit of of what you’ve learned about yourself and your faith along the way and hold on to it for dear life. You will be tested. Tested to the core. Life and your beliefs will collide. And, when they do, you will be tempted to throw out everything you have learned. What does it matter anyhow? Life is just going be messed up anyway, right? What’s the point?

Respect what you have learned about yourself. Respect your gut intuition. Respect what you know to be true. I promise, life’s heartaches and trials will rock you, but, this too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. On the other side of it you will be able to say, “I respected myself even when…”

50’s:

I’m just starting out my 50’s. I’m going to look ahead to the advice of my elders on this blog site to see what they have to say about navigating the future. But, so far, I know menopause sucksssss! And, being charged with raising a grandchild during menopause is even suckier.

But, I can honestly say that so far, life has been good. Even when it has been really, really awful, it has been good. Because, God. He has never left my side through all of it. Even when I wanted to leave His.

I have tried to learn from everything that has happened and from every stupid decision I have made. I wouldn’t trade any of the crap because it has helped to form me into who I am today.

Blech! Who am I kidding? Heck yeah I would trade some of it! Some of it was down-right awful!

I’m sure there are still many new opportunities ahead to learn to respect myself. Can’t wait?

Wish me luck! I’ll let you know how it goes.

Oh, and little miss 20 year old me that loves to sunbathe and play all day in the sun, slather on that sunscreen, sister! Tan skin may be beautiful, but melanoma scars aren’t .

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May 2020 – Isolation

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Arise Daily Devotion – April

How do you see Him?

What would you see in Jesus’ eyes if He turned and looked right at you?

READ MORE HERE …

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APRIL 2020 – Hope

Hope Wins!

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.

Helen Keller

As I sit here at my computer, finishing up the final touches of this blog, there is a great deal of turmoil and angst taking place around the world. From every media outlet, we are inundated with the devastating news about those that have been affected by the coronavirus pandemic. It seems this virus has not left any country unscathed. The non-stop reminders of the number of people infected and that have died from this disease pummels our spirits, leaving us anxious, afraid, and defeated. As we sit isolated in our homes, distressing thoughts swirl frantically through our heads such as: Will I or a loved one catch this disease? What will the future hold for us? Are we going on lockdown? Will there be enough food? How do I protect my family? How long will we be quarantined? We have just been laid off. Will we make it financially? How do I home school this kid? And, most importantly it seems, do I have enough toilet paper for goodness sake?

People are scared right now and feel powerless. That doesn’t always bring out the best in us. Fear breeds the need to control, hoard, and stockpile. Every man for themselves. The concern is real. I get it. The stress! Oh, the stress! I may have bought some things that we didn’t need “just in case.” You never know when you are going to need the four extra racks of baby back ribs, cases of popcorn and Diet Coke, and CHOCOLATE! Lots of Chocolate! They’re essentials, right?

It feels as if times are getting harder and scarier. Most recently, we’ve had to deal with the wildfires ravaging some of the most beautiful places in the world, terrorists attacking people innocently going about their daily lives, and now, this scary disease running rampant throughout the globe. The tragic events that occur on the other side of the world, which once seemed too far away to concern ourselves with, are now getting a little too close for our comfort. It feels as if our livelihoods, health, and security are tenuous at best.

Why so much suffering?

To console our fears, our eyes inevitably want to linger on those verses of scripture regarding the second coming of Christ and cry out: “Maranatha! Lord, Jesus come! Save us!”

Jesus was not immune to the pain of death and suffering. Take heart, he cried out to God, too.

Yes! There is reason to be concerned and be proactive. But, it is also important to not let our minds run away fearful thoughts of “What it?” It is important to keep things in perspective. As I read through my Bible and the annuls of history, it is clear that we are no different than the generations that have gone before us – times have always been scary. There has always been some disease wanting to infect us. Whether it be Small Pox, the Black Plague, Ebola, or any number of other maladies. There has always been a tyrant wanting to enslave or annihilate someone. It may have taken place through Roman occupation, Egyptian slavery, Babylonian exile, or even in our more recent history, the holocaust of World War II, Pol Pot’s killing fields, nuclear bombs, and child-sex trafficking. Every generation has cried out: “Lord, save us!”

On every page of my Bible I have written on it these words, “But, God!” For example, But, God! is written across the top of 2 Chronicles 20, which tells the story of King Jehoshaphat being attacked by an immense army filled with the soldiers from three different tribes. There is no earthly reason why the small Israelite militia should have won that battle, But, God! It is also written on the pages of Matthew 4 in which Jesus heals a man with leprosy. As well as, across the top of John 4 where a chance meeting at a well, turned a despised woman, a societal outcast, into Jesus’ first evangelist.

The inscription, “But, God!” is also boldly written on page 1635. John chapter 19 is the beloved Disciple, John’s account of what he saw at the horrific crucifixion of his best friend and Savior, Jesus. After being betrayed by one of his confidants, Jesus was arrested by the Jewish High Priest, fallaciously accused, and sentenced to endure the evil persecution inflicted at the hands of the Romans. Finally, Jesus was brutally crucified on the cross, and with his dying breath uttered these three words: “It is finished.” But, God!

“What was meant for evil, God intended for good, for what is now being done, the salvation of many.” Gen. 50:20

Have you ever noticed with God, when something is supposed to be finished – gone, dead and buried – it usually isn’t? Instead, God’s kingdom is upside-down and backward to our human sensibilities. In his economy, when something dies, new life bursts forth and begins again.

Jesus taught us that a kernel must first die before it can grow and bear much fruit. God gave us many examples of this in scripture. Lazarus lay dead in a tomb for four days – he did stinketh- and that still wasn’t long enough for his life to be finished. Jesus didn’t rush to his friend’s side when he was sick. Lazurus died. He knew that Mary and Martha – whom Jesus loved – would suffer. The women’s pain pierced his heart and Jesus cried with them. He cries with us, too. But, he knew that their suffering had purpose. God demonstrated that life can come from death and resurrected Lazurus. Because of this, many people started following Jesus as the Messiah.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego thought they were going to certainly be toast in the fiery furnace. Logically they should have been. God did not rescue the boys from the inferno. But, God, himself, entered into the fire with them to protect and save them from it. Can you imagine the witness they had? Because of the men’s steadfast faithfulness to God in what was most likely a terrifying situation, King Nebuchadnezzar later came to know and love their God.

More than ever, I believe God enters into our suffering, as well. He doesn’t always take away our distress, or heal and rescue us, but he is always there to help us through it. God has proven over and over that if we allow him, he will take our pain and transform it for his glorious purpose. It definitely doesn’t happen overnight. It can be a long process of surrendering ourselves to God’s will. Ask God how he can use the pain you are experiencing now for his purpose and glory.

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